The situation was critical. Relationships were suffering, but facing his addiction to alcohol proved to be the best decision Lee McFarlain has ever made. Growing up in a chaotic environment along with a shy personality made making friends and fitting in very difficult. “I had a tumultuous life growing up and my father was pretty much always an active alcoholic,” Lee remembers. Lee tasted his first drink of alcohol when he was in sixth grade. Spending time hanging out with older teens made it easy to obtain alcohol and after taking his first drink, it triggered something inside of him. He quickly became addicted. “I was exposed to the gospel about the same time I started drinking...I was torn between those two worlds and the alcohol got the better of me.”
As a teen, he and his family lived in Egypt and alcohol was available and easy to obtain whenever he wanted it. He continued drinking. Upon relocating back to the US during his junior year of high school, boarding school became his home where he also found easy access to alcohol. His addiction escalated into his college years where drinking and partying were regular events. Experiencing life out of control and failing grades, Lee decided to enlist in military service. “I kind-of found my place in the army for a bit, but the army’s not a great environment for staying sober.”
Now in his mid-20‘s with military service complete, Lee returns to college and there he meets Heather; the girl who would become his wife. Early in the relationship with a desire to please her, he cut back on his drinking. “I fell head-over-heels in love with her. That was a motivator for me, for a period of time, to kind of straighten myself up,” Lee said. He finished his degree with excellent grades while still happily dating Heather. While attending graduate school, his drinking increased again. “I was starting to party more with my classmates and our lives were starting to drift apart. I was falling back into that old pattern again. She was alone and frustrated and angry for all the right reasons.”
| “I can look back on my life and every time I’ve got a purpose in life, something I can focus on, something to devote myself to, I do better.” |
Even after four years of marriage, Lee was still going out with his co-workers several times a week to drink. This behavior wore heavily on their relationship. Lee and Heather came to a breaking point. “We both convinced ourselves that having children would fix everything. When we had our first daughter, it gave us the impetus to get into church.” Small, yet positive changes were taking place. Then, he lost his job in Austin. Lee began to believe that God had a better job for him. Lee was offered a new position in Houston and the prospect for change was good. The family relocated and Heather was able to stay home with the children. They purchased a home and everything began falling into place for them, or so it seemed. Lee saw the Lord’s blessings, which helped strengthen his faith, but his addiction was still holding him captive. To make matters worse, Lee was now drinking alone and the searing pain was almost more than he could bear.
Lee’s turning point came in November 2002 when a respected friend called him to say she had quit drinking. She encouraged him to consider quitting, too. This prompted him to think about his life and how things were going. Something needed to change. On the week following Christmas in 2002, Lee and Heather were at a party. Lee was drinking a lot and decided to borrow a friends’ car so he could go buy some cigarettes. After making the purchase, he got in the vehicle and saw someone just standing there looking at him as if he was crazy. After the keys would not start the engine, he realized he was sitting in the wrong vehicle and he snapped! “I had come out of the convenience store so drunk that I didn’t even know what car I was in. I had no right to be driving. Here’s the thing, there was something in my mind, that made me say, there’ssomething wrong.” He drove back to the party knowing something had to change. On New Year’s Eve of that same year, Lee put down his last drink and said, “That’s it.” The next day, January 1, 2003, terrified but resolute, he went to his first AA meeting. There, he began meeting with three men who were strong Christians. Lee mentions, “I met some guys who started holding me accountable and they worked through the AA Big Book with me.” Within a few short weeks, Lee gave his life to Christ and turned his will over to God. But, surrendering his life to God was just the beginning. Lee said, “Someone once told me, It’s not like surrendering is giving up, it is more like you’re joining the winning team.” Lee, experiencing the power of forgiveness and his heavy load of guilt being lifted, knew the desire to drink was gone! “Hitting the bottom helped wake me up to the fact that I need to rely on Him for things I can’t do on my own. I had demons to fight. I had to realize that God’s power is greater than my own.”
Heather began witnessing the change in Lee and at first was very skeptical. Wondering whether or not this was a lasting change made her cautiously optimistic at best. After attending Lee’s one-year-sober anniversary meeting, Heather came to realize that the change in him was indeed real. Now encouraged in his life change and serious about his faith walk, the road to restoration in his life with Heather could begin. Experiencing God’s goodness brings Lee so much joy.
Lee says that he’s has been given the gift of new life and is so thankful that his children will never have to have a father that is drunk. According to Lee, his “A-HA moment” came when he realized that in the same way a dad wants to teach his children right from wrong, our Heavenly Father wants to do this for all of us. He is passionate about following Jesus, reading God’s Word and remains dedicated to raising his children in God’s love. Lee will tell you he is still in process with God but knows the peace and grace God has given him will carry him the rest of his life.